30 thoughts on “That XYZ cap means something

  1. “O.K. 4th Quarter taxes are paid. I’ve maxed out yearly contributions to my 401K and matched those of my employees. Mortgage is finally paid off. Custodian has winter-proofed the beach house. LandRover’s winter tires are on and rotated. Life insurance renewed. Finished the last marathon for 2016 with a PB time and, as a reward, I’ve booked a trip to Monaco for the week straddling New Years because I’m confident that my employees — with that hefty bonus I gave them — will be productive and keep my Fortune 500 humming while I gamble with royalty that week. Let’s see. What else? There’s something I forgot. Shit shit shit. What was that? Let me check my reminders….oh…outstanding: there it is! *dials* Hey, Carl! Yeah, it’s me. Remember that thing we talked about? Great. I’ll need you to get over here in the next half hour because I have a shiatsu appointment at noon. Cool. No no. I have all of that. Remember? I just need you to bring a camera. Oh, and Carl…wait…wait…are you still there? Oh Good. Don’t forget the Neo-sporin.”

  2. I’m glad those Chinese wicks go like light speed because he got about 100x more than he probably figured on. Serves this dumb fat fucktard right.

  3. “Did you get that?” Uh no. Gotta do it again. This time with more tape and we will have to do the lower half. Pledges will do anything to be accepted.

  4. Two things.

    1. The marketing is bullshit. It’s really not a suicide vest. More like an idiot vest.

    2. Referencing 1. above, another idiot continues to live and consumes precious resources.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Optionally add an image (JPEG only)