Rain? No. That was Travis the Chimp’s tears

No bananas. No Peace.

No bananas. No Peace.

The words every mother dreads having to write on Facebook: ‘that was my son that fell in the gorilla exhibit in the zoo’.

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Baby daddy has mixed emotions about the whole affair, having spent a few years locked up in a federal zoo himself.

God protected my child until the authorities were able to get to him. My son is safe and was able to walk away with a concussion and a few scrapes… no broken bones or internal injuries.

And now Michelle Gregg, who was snapchatting selfies to her ghetto’s facebook page while her 4-year old swam with 700 lb gorillas, is taking God’s advice and suing the Cincinnati zoo.

As a society we are quick to judge how a parent could take their eyes off of their child and if anyone knows me I keep a tight watch on my kids. Accidents happen…

It’s no accident that an innocent silverback took a dirt nap over Memorial Day weekend. Justice for Harembe!

For the record Michelle, this is an accident:

23 thoughts on “Rain? No. That was Travis the Chimp’s tears

  1. I like the part where Donger Jr wouldn’t drop his cigarette to free up his right hand to help out. That kid I tell you…..

  2. Trust me… That was the plan all along. Let kid into the pen with uncle Harambe then sue the shit out of the zoo. Can always make another baby. Payout will be less now that the kid is alright. In fact, kid is probably getting Adrian Peterson’d as we speak for failing.

  3. I didn’t read the accounts yet. Did they say what was Harambe doing in the car with Michelle before the shooting?

  4. Will be a great supplement to his job application for handling chemicals and hazardous materials.

  5. this is probably only funny to me but i don’t care

    picture this moment: a 400lbs silverback gorilla looks up and sees a 300lbs colored woman on her cell phone ignoring her kid who was crawling into obvious danger. the gorilla has an “oh shit” moment goes to help the kid, and the next thought is “stupid bitch is going to get me killed”.

    i wish charles darwin could have been there – can you imagine the heckling while this shit was going down? “Hey Chuck, explain that!” “Hey Chuck, who’s watching who at the zoo?” “You’re a dick darwin, your evolution sucks!” “Over-Rated cha cha cha cha cha”

    darwin just shaking his head, face palms, n-bombs, and mopes out of the zoo and heads to the bar because now we have to put blacks in captivity in order for them to observe gorillas in captivity.

  6. Wow…so put the fire out by putting more burning liquid/gas on it? Or (eventually) the cigarette? Awesome.

    Perhaps he could get a job at the Fed?

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