Roberto, you are not alone

Lonely life of Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, the man with the world’s longest penis

“Look where it is, it goes far below the knees”

How many times have I had to say that, whether at a bus depot or behind a dumpster while scavenging for food and companionship?

wang

And yet I trudge on down lonely highways like a modern day Bruce Banner, scaring women with the hulk in my pants.

But what do women know anyway? They can never understand the burdens that come with a massive wang.

Roberto’s story gives me the strength to reach out to others who may also be lonely, hung, and suffering.

If you have a tremendous dong and nowhere to put it please speak up – this is a safe place for us.

Also, let’s go camping.

——–-this from jack…———-

Roberto,

I understand your loneliness, and you have my empathy. I too share the trait that scurries men into the shadows, and causes women to gasp in terror and wonder. I remember how empty I felt in college when a young girl described my pene as a “baby’s arm holding an apple”. pug2My sadness grew as she told her friends, and it forced me to make several sacrifices in my life. Of course I’m not talking about eating garbage and not getting pussy- quite the opposite actually. Tell you the truth, I had a hell of a time.

I wish I could speak with you directly to share my story and offer you support. However, there is no social or professional benefit to me learning your language. Moreover, I am in the process of picking a presidential candidate who will build the biggest wall between our countries. You see amigo, sometimes bigger is better.

Cordially,

JACK MAEHOFFER

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