Why God invented brooms

When you are trying to close the bar and there is still a guy in the bathroom passed out shitting and puking into his pants. When he finally got up he had apparently pissed himself as well making it extremely hard to get a taxi to take him.

BLIND SQUIRREL

Miss TDT 2016: Daniela Baptista

Congratulations, Daniela Baptista, for being the first South American to ever grace the august pages of TheDanzaTap.

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Just like their American counterparts, cabelleros back in her home country are champing at the bit to have at Daniela’s juggos.

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Though customary in Quito to waive such formalities, TDT took great pains to confirm that Daniela’s ass checks out – and it do.

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Rumors abound about Daniela having some wild times in her abuela’s high rise.

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Hopefully she is not engaged to Ricky Martin. Can’t have that.

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Still don’t know a fucking song this guy sings

Kanye West, the Kardashians … a slippery slope. You start talking about them a little bit, soon you start talking about a lot of bit, then you take interest in what they do – next thing you know you’re sending a get well card to a giant negus who had a heart attack after a three day party in a whore house. Care must be taken.

So we held our tongues when KW begged Mark Zuckerberg for $53 million, sat on our thumbs when Kanye’s girl said he craves fingers up his ass (the jury has reached a verdict, btw – 100% certified mo) … but the lure is too great.

Here is what this asshole sounds like when there is no camera around…