Miss TDT 2017: Sandra Kubicka

22. Polish. Miami resident. Miss TDT 2017.

Ordinary women rarely land such accolades, but Sandra Kubicka is no ordinary woman.


She is, in fact, a vision.


Two days a month!

Some guy, somewhere is DEFINITELY not tired of her shit!

Sandra has style…


… and as it happens, her ass checks out.


Sandra is perpetually hungered.


For this we are thankful.


Congratulations, Sandra, and good luck ducking all the 4-alarm sauseetch that will come screaming your way now that you’re an award winning Miss TDT.

When Meat Festival falls on a Friday

[Scene: Two gringos on the outskirts of the Pampas…]

Not much room for a pool is there?
We own all the land. We have already made arrangements for relocating the cemetery.
You’re kidding. I mean, that’s sacrilegious, isn’t it?
Don’t worry about it. After all, it’s not ancient tribal burial ground. It’s just… people. We have done it before.”
Well, this village elder keeps talking of a meat ghost that’s gonna-
Silence, you fool!

Robust A&T Sampler

Beef & Roughage

Deep Sea Sandwich



New York Strip



Apple Pie

Bon appetite los animales!

RompHim. Now!

We can thank the start-up bros from music festivals for this season’s fashion craze: the romper has arrived – and not a moment too soon.

Fashion first.
Glorious melding.
Casual option.
Structured shorts.
Pink chambray.
Splatter-print cotton.
Public yearning.
Welcome men.


Urination purposes.

Website beat: TDT appeal 2017

Dear los animales:

I love TDT. And I need to pass the hat.


Been a few years since I’ve done this, but you might have noticed a few weeks back site on involuntary hiatus for a few days – still not out of the hole. (maybe you noticed no wigglies click-thrus, gif hosting bill still has to wait … ).

The site is absolutely more productive when I can afford morning coffee – so please when you bust out your credit card (PayPal, 100% secure) think of it as buying me a brew, or a Van Hagar cassette, or a shitty bicycle … your support has already saved TDT before, even a little bit helps a shit ton.

I could give you war stories about ups/downs of life, but I think y’all would prefer ass. Plus a work schedule change will have more me with more day time to devote to the Tap.

Thank you.

challenging website goals

challenging website goals

Man in motel haggles wife of 17 years down to $150 from $200 for some sex

So often this tale is told, but so rarely is it true. Savor this moment.

Man orders prostitute – wife shows up.


A man can excuse many things, like his wife being a hooker for instance, but no man can overlook the sin of false advertising.

It emerged that the prostitute – who had advertised herself as ‘an attractive 28-year old’ – was actually the man’s 49-year old wife. She was understandably furious to find her husband in the motel room, although after further reflection he was equally angry to learn his wife had been advertising her services on a prostitution website.

I used Google Images to highlight the utter havoc this woman’s lies hath wrought adult services customer base of greater Katy.

Could set you back a few bucks.

Economy package.

Alternative lifestylz.

If dongs can kill they probably will

Former Toto keyboardist Richard Henry Patterson caught a murder charge – so now he is for the fight of his life.

What’s refreshing is that Patterson’s big money counsel has decided to pursue a “the truth shall set you free” defense.


Exhibit “A” was Toto’s first junket photo, back in ’78…


Being that Toto was a family band their tour manager insisted the Patterson tone it the fuck down on the next junket photo a year later.


Toto fans and critics alike pray that Richard’s trouser schnauzer has wrapped up its final tour of destruction.

Par for Paige

LPGA great, Paige Spiranac, is widely and rightly known for cashing in on her good looks.


In top form, everybody admires her and appreciates her generosity on social media.


But with fame and fortune comes the old industry axiom:

When you take more selfies than dumps it’s only a matter of time.


She really nailed that one, Gary.

Paige swings like a girl.


More importantly, her ass checks out.


It all reminds of that time I went to the Dinah Shore Classic and spotted Dinah Shore and followed her around for 3 days.


Boy was I mistaken. Not only was she not Dinah Shore, but it turns out I wasn’t even at the Dinah Shore Classic. #BannedFromBonnaroo