Where’s the fire?

I salute the spirit in which this sign was made.

I respect and honor it.

image

But truth be told whenever I’m in a bathroom that I have no intention of returning to any time soon I hose down the walls like they are on fire. And that has nothing to do with the size of my baby carrot.

Lax god thinks he’s superman 

Remove your caps, gentlemen, for there goes the three time captain of the Coker lacrosse team …

masciarelli

Masciarelli allegedly “would stop on occasion and pose like Superman exposing himself and urinating.”

When confronted by a sheriff’s deputy, Masciarelli “could not explain why he had no pants on,” nor did he know the way home.

Ah, there’s nothing here, he’s just going through a phase. A very fun fucking phase.

Kristen Stewart es el muncho

I wish I could hire a female assistant to pork. Some of you guys are fucking lucky.

For years, people have been obsessed with Kristen Stewart’s love life, and for months people have been speculating that it’s taken a turn for the sapphic. In an interview with The Mirror, Kristen’s mom Jules Stewart confirms that it has—Jules says Kristen is dating her assistant, Alicia Cargile.

Source: The Haircut Is True: Kristen Stewart Dating Female Assistant, Says Mom

chopper and butch out on the town

chopper and butch out on the town

Tubbo

You are dirty. Go warsh.
tub1

Hey, you – go soak yourself.
tub2

Never feed a bully past 8pm – and don’t let them get wet!
tub3

Please remove yourself from the tub.
tub4

Thank you.

Membership has its privileges

So how much would you pay to belong to a gym where you show up after work, slip off your loafers, and hop directly into a ring where you can proceed to beat the bag off an al-Qaeda boxer in front a half-dozen scantily clad ladies with giant tits?

gym

I can’t speak for anyone else, but if they don’t offer morning spin classes, I’ll take my membership dollar elsewhere.